Hiding Out [for fever_crusade]

[dovelike]

It doesn't take too long for Eirene to get from her apartment to the Kent farm, not even after taking time out to pack a duffel of things she doesn't want to lose; in case her brother comes back and decides to break things because she's not there to endure another fight. Not for the first time, she thinks it's sad that the lives of immortals really do mirror their mortal counterparts.

Not even a deity is exempt from familial abuse, and she's an easier target than most because she can't fight back. Jaw and face still aching from Ares' fist, she blurs to the farmhouse's front door and knocks nervously.

"Martha?"

Comments

[eirenikos]

Eirene is quiet for a long time, sipping at her tea and trying to marshal scattered thoughts. After about five minutes she glances up at Martha, for once looking not-quite-young.

"He has, which is ... damnit, he makes me fall in love with him all over again whenever he stands up for people who can't by themselves. On the other hand, he shouldn't have to do it for me." She sighs. "It's very confusing."

[fever-crusade.livejournal.com]

Martha nods, staring off and out the window absently. "You'll get used to that feeling. But Clark...well, he isn't happy unless he's protecting the ones he loves. It's his way of doing things, it's how he shows it. It can frustrating at times, and of course there are moments when all you want to do is protect him for a change...you'll learn how to deal with it, how to balance those feelings. It takes time."

[eirenikos]

"His father is like that, too, isn't he," she ventures after processing the fact that Martha is right. "You and your husband raised such an incredible person. Clark is who he is because of you two."

And if the fact she's marrying said son in two months isn't enough to showcase how completely in love with him she is, that tone in Eirene's voice is a really big clue.

[fever-crusade.livejournal.com]

"Oh yes." Martha nods, this time with a smile. "I married the most impossibly obstinate man on the face of the earth. And being quite stubborn myself, we managed to raise the second most impossibly obstinate man on the face on the earth. It's quite astonishing really. And Clark doesn't even have our genes. You can imagine if..."

She trails off, immediately closing her eyes and wincing. Sometimes even she had the power to hurt herself by bringing that up.

[eirenikos]

Eirene's free hand might take the opportunity to slide over and gently squeeze Martha's. "Some things on this planet are more important than sharing someone's genetic code. Family is what you make of it, and you gave Clark exactly what he needed; a mother and father who cared enough to raise him to care about others. He's your child, regardless of whether you bore him or not."

[fever-crusade.livejournal.com]

But that doesn't do much to stop her from wanting the kids she should have. "I know. But he wants more. He'll always want more. Want them."

[eirenikos]

If Eirene could take away that pain, she would. Instantly. "Someday I hope to give you grandchildren," she remarks very quietly, knowing the subject is a fragile one. "If -- when I do -- they'll carry on the Kent and Clark traditions."

Not hers. She refuses to raise children the way her father did.

[fever-crusade.livejournal.com]

The response expected from Martha Kent would be something along the lines of excitement, gratitude, perhaps even joy. But what she won't tell Eirene is how angry it makes her, inwardly, to see other women with babies. She won't tell her how she has to bite her lip and clench her fists to keep from going crazy when people walk past her with strollers. She won't tell her because it's petty, irrational, and completely out of sync with what's expected from her.

Instead she nods and says, "The Clark traditions were thwarted long ago, most fortuitously. Keep to the Kent side alone and you'll be fine."

[eirenikos]

All of that; the anger, the pain, the longing, what feels like shame, everything hits Eirene at almost the same time as Martha speaks, prompting the seemingly-younger woman to wince.

"Martha," she stops, trying to breathe through it, for these emotions are repressed, and stronger because of that. "Martha, let all of that out before it ... before it physically turns around and bites you."

Pause.

"Just talk and get it out. Please."

[fever-crusade.livejournal.com]

Martha frowns, turning her look at her with surprise plain in her widened eyes. "Let all what out?"

[eirenikos]

Breathe in, breathe out, and now she can speak without nausea. "I'm empathic and it's impossible to lie about feelings to me. Please don't feel you have to hide anything. Let even just a little bit of that go, because I don't want anything to happen to you. Okay?"

Physical pain she can endure stoically. Emotions? Not so much. It's, for lack of a more appropriate term, one of her Achilles' heels.

[fever-crusade.livejournal.com]

She stares at Eirene incredulously for a moment, then turns her head and looks down at her lap. "It's better that I don't talk about it. It's indicative of the kind of person I don't want to be."

[eirenikos]

Gently, "Then don't talk out loud. But you need to let go of some of that, and I can help. Will you take my hand and allow me the honor of doing so?"

[fever-crusade.livejournal.com]

A bit warily, Martha gives her her hand. "All right..."

[eirenikos]

Eirene places her slightly smaller one around it, and breathes out slowly. What Martha should be feeling, providing things so smoothly, is a subtle sense of peace working away at some of the tension she's been holding inside of her for years.

It won't erase all the memories, and it isn't an instant quick-fix, but the goddess should be able to blunt the pain to a level that doesn't control everything else.

And, yes, Martha, those are tears.

[fever-crusade.livejournal.com]

Martha doesn't know what to say, and for awhile, she doesn't say anything at all, just leans back against the couch, staring blankly ahead.

Then she exhales. "Well."