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There is a particular tree near the edge of the forest that Eirene has adopted in the few weeks since her transformation. It has low enough branches that she can reach and climb easily, and the foliage is close enough together to form a protective barrier when she wants to just watch life go by.

Her door has not returned yet but she had a wonderful few days in Smallville, so it seems to be a matter of balancing the good with the bad. This evening, she can be found in her tree watching the sun set and trying not to wish like hell that she had someone to hold her.

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The touch is unexpected and he stills at the feel of her fingers.

"I'm not worth it," he says suddenly, when she lets his hand go. "I have way more emotional baggage than you can dream of and I've already hurt you more than I ever wanted. Not that I wanted to hurt you at all but I couldn't ever promise you that things would be perfect or easy or--"

Clark pauses briefly, still staring down at the ground, lips twitching into a frown. "It would be a lot of work if we tried again."

"I have a vivid imagination, Clark. You might be surprised at some of the things I dream of." That would be her sadly lacking attempt at humor, at least until she gets the irregular beat of her heart under control.

Somehow, it's safer to sit under her tree at the base, instead of pacing around in the growing gloom and run the risk of tripping over something.

"No one has a perfect relationship -- with anyone." Long pause. "I -- was under the impression you wanted little to do with me. Has that changed?"

"I don't know," he answers with a sigh after watching her arrange herself underneath the tree. "I was under the impression I wasn't good enough for you, I still am for the most part. I just don't know that I'm willing to let that work against me anymore."

"I never said that." It's a point she feels she has to bring up, no matter how badly the conversation might go after this. She's also getting a small crick in her neck from looking up at him.

"Might as well sit down and ... well, talk," Eirene suggests, her tone mild. "And tell me what the bad news is."

"I never said you did," he retorts, taking a seat a few feet away from her. "It's me. It's what I think."

Then he pauses for a few minutes. "Even if we're going to just try and be friends again, I need you to understand some things about me."

Well, it's wrong. But she'll refrain from saying that out loud. Causing another fight isn't something she's got an endless supply of energy for now anyway.

"Okay. I'm listening." Eirene watches him closely, already bracing herself for whatever comes out of his mouth.

Clark picks at the grass around him nervously.

"It's just," he shrugs, "there are always going to be people in my life who mean a lot to me. Who've meant a lot to me for a long time, and they're not just going to go away." Well. Not anytime soon, anyway.

Lana. He has to be talking about Lana. It's all Eirene can do to keep the pain off her face, instinctively trying to put him at ease without the use of power.

"Go on," she glances down at the ground for a moment to steady herself again, before looking back towards him.

Eirene's not wrong.

"You know-- I've told you about Lana before." And he'll try not to revisit that conversation too much, although that's probably impossible at this point. "Even if she and I aren't together, she's always going to be important to me. I'm always going to care about her."

Pause.

"And there's Chloe, too."

Her head bobs in assent, as Eirene doesn't quite trust her voice yet. Lana, the woman he's in love with. After a few slow breathes, and steadier nerves, she meets Clark's gaze again.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't care about the people you love." There may be a voice cracking on that last word, but she ignores it.

"And Chloe is your best friend. I know."

"I try to. I try to do right by them as much as I can." Which is the main reason he's here to start with; Eirene is one of those people he cares about.

"But yeah, there's Lana and with Chloe--" he stops again, for yet another frown, "I don't know if you get how close we really are."

There is a hint of a smile, though its mostly just a quirk of her lips. Trying to explain the reasons she only made real friends at Milliways would take the better part of a month, and that's the condensed version.

You can't really explain to someone that even when surrounded by family, most of whom you get along with, you are still always alone.

"No, I don't. Only that you two are. Close, I mean."

Oddly, that's something that Clark would completely understand.

"We are. It's kind of hard to explain." Especially since he doesn't really understand it himself. "She knows me better than anyone else, even better than I know myself. She's the person I go to first when I need help. She knows everything about me." Pause. "She's part of who I am."

Another flare of pain hits, causing her eyes to squeeze shut and her head to bow for several minutes. "That sounds an awful lot like a soul mate," Eirene finally comments, her tone as neutral as she can make it. There is an ache in her gut, one she can't just make go away.

Eventually: "I'm sorry. It's good to have someone who knows you that well. Please, continue."

Clark's just going to mull that over for a minute.

"I guess maybe it does," he starts, slowly, "but I don't think it's quite the same." Because if it was, he'd want to be with just Chloe, wouldn't he?

Edited 2008-04-18 16:11 (UTC)

"Then something similar." Pause, fingers idly playing with strands of hair in order to keep them occupied. "That is, of course, just an opinion, but do understand that you are telling me that ... Lana and Chloe are extremely important to you, and that will never change."

And isn't that the unintentional understatement of the century.

"Right." And with that, Clark isn't really sure where to go from here.

After a few moments of silence, "That doesn't mean I don't have room to care about other people."

"Then you have a big heart, Clark." Eirene sighs, glancing up at the darkened sky through the tree branches and mentally catalouging all the constellations she can see.

"This is like trying to find your way through Ariadne's labyrinth without a ball of twine to lead the way." Or mad godly skillz at navigation.

He snorts softly, although it's wry amusement more than anything else.

"Yeah, it's confusing to say the least. And keeps getting more so."

Blue eyes shift towards him warily now. "I can't even begin to fathom the things you haven't told me."

Pause.

"I feel like I'm that animated coyote waiting for the anvil to drop."

"That's it, really." Though by the look on his face, that's not entirely true.

"Although if I'm being completely honest, there probably is something else I should tell you."

Another low breath to steel herself. He can more than likely tell she's bracing again, expecting the worst, because this blonde isn't an expert at concealing her feelings.

It's a wonder he didn't figure out she loved him on his own, really.

"Okay. Ready."

Clark, as everyone knows, can be incredibly oblivious when he wants to be.

"Okay." Deep breath. "I--" Another one. "Chloe and I kind of ... slept together."

It hurts. Seriously, physically hurts like a prize fighter punched her right in the chest, to the point where her shoulders actually jerk back.

Finding her breath after that takes a long time, and even once she does, the only word to come out of her mouth is an, "Oh."

It really makes him want to reach out to her, pull her into a hug for comfort or whatever, but he can't. That would just be the completely wrong thing to do here.

"I'm sorry," he offers quietly.