(no subject)

[dovelike]

There is a particular tree near the edge of the forest that Eirene has adopted in the few weeks since her transformation. It has low enough branches that she can reach and climb easily, and the foliage is close enough together to form a protective barrier when she wants to just watch life go by.

Her door has not returned yet but she had a wonderful few days in Smallville, so it seems to be a matter of balancing the good with the bad. This evening, she can be found in her tree watching the sun set and trying not to wish like hell that she had someone to hold her.

Comments

[hero_farmboy]

Oh. Clark isn't sure. His instinct is to say no, he doesn't really care to hear about how Eirene feels about any other man but to say that would be less than unfair is a ridiculous understatement, and he knows it.

"If you want to," he answers after a moment, trying to sound as encouraging as possible. Which isn't much.

[eirenikos]

"Not really, but an exchange of information is fair in human society." She pauses, glancing down again. "His name was Leo, he was a Russian writer, we met when he was in his twenties and I was his mistress for most of his life. Leo was a pacifist and wrote great books on the subject."

And now she'll just pluck at the grass.

[hero_farmboy]

He nods slowly as she speaks, watching her carefully.

"I'm sorry." It seems like the thing to say. "Thank you for sharing that with me."

[eirenikos]

"You're welcome."

And now let the awkward silence commence while she retraces exactly what he told her earlier, now that the fog of 'instant reaction' has faded a little.

"I have ... no idea what I'm supposed to think or do."

[hero_farmboy]

Clark shifts his gaze back down to the grass again. "I'm sorry," he repeats, but it's for an entirely different reason this time. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

[eirenikos]

Eirene should say yes. She should demand that he walk away and take her broken heart with him. Her mouth opens to do just that, but what comes out is:

"No."

Gods, she's pitiful.

[hero_farmboy]

"Okay." It might be clear from his tone that that wasn't the answer he was expecting.

"So, uh, do you want to talk about anything else?"

[eirenikos]

Eirene feels rather the same way about what she said too, so Clark shouldn't feel like he's the only confused one. She wipes the remaining tears away with her shirt hem. and concentrates on not looking at him for a few minutes.

"How's the farm doing?"

Okay, that was lame.

[hero_farmboy]

Small talk. Wonderful.

"It's good. Spring and all so there's a lot of work to do." Pause. "Which I guess you know and all, so." Yep. Back to staring at the grass.

[eirenikos]

Not for long. "What you just told me really hurt, Clark. I know we aren't together, and I've no right to feel this way."

Quietly, "But I do."

Yep, also staring at grass. Awkward rules.

[hero_farmboy]

There isn't anything he can think of to say to that. Other than that he's sorry, which he's already said. Instead, he starts to stand.

"I should let you be."

[eirenikos]

Out of habit, she rises as well, and leans against the tree for support whilst trying to sort out her skirts.

Softly: "The last thing I want to do is keep you here against your will, Clark."

[hero_farmboy]

"You're not I just figured you'd want some, I don't know." He shrugs. "Space."

[eirenikos]

"I've had enough space to last a lifetime." She steps away from the tree and starts feeling her way carefully in the dark in a half-hearted pace.

"Clark, what do friends talk about? I've only ever had any here, and I feel like I'm failing as a human. How-- how do you do it?"

[hero_farmboy]

That's not a laugh. Honest.

"Eirene, you're really not asking the right person. The only person I seem to have gotten this whole friend thing right with is Chloe and that's ... maybe not even accurate anymore."

[eirenikos]

She frowns.

"I trust you to give me the truth, so you are the right person."

Even if he thinks that truth might be misplaced - she's cottoning on to how his mind tends to work.

[hero_farmboy]

"Look, I don't know, okay?" This is a little more stern than he was intending, but it seems emotions are getting way with him. "The only friend I had growing up moved away because he couldn't handle being in my life anymore. Lex hates me now and like I just said, I don't even know what's going on with Chloe anymore. So no, Eirene, I'm no expert on how to make and keep friends."

[eirenikos]

"I meant how to you live as a human." Eirene blinks, tilting her head up to watch him. "But, if we are starting over, as much as you and I can, then you do have at least one friend. Me. Now, I understand that's probably not all that reassuring, but ... right."

[hero_farmboy]

Clark sighs.

"I don't know that, either. I was only human for a few weeks and then I got myself killed. And I wouldn't exactly call what I do now living as a human. Among them, yes, but I'm not one of them."

[eirenikos]

"Oh." There's a long pause.

"It's alright to not have all the answers, you know. Not even my father, or my grandfather, does, and most people assume their omnipotent."

After a moment, she reaches out gently to lace her fingers with his. She's still learning how to give comfort verbally, so this'll have to do for now.

[hero_farmboy]

And for some reason it feels wrong. He's just hurt her, and she's comforting him and that's just not right somehow.

Clark takes his hand back and steps away from her. "Don't."

[eirenikos]

Eirene freezes momentarily, and then hides her hand in the folds of her skirt. "I'm sorry."

She ducks her head so he won't see her suddenly watery eyes.

"That's what I'm talking about. Clark, I don't know anyway else to be. If I can't help people, to hold and hug them and ease their pain ... I don't know what to do."

[hero_farmboy]

"That's just who you are, Eirene," he replies quietly, after a moment. "A few weeks of being human isn't going to change however many centuries of who you were before."

[eirenikos]

That startles a low laugh out of her. "I guess that's true. Here I've been so worried about remembering the advice everyone's given me - don't fall, watch where you step, don't take candy from strangers.. that," Eirene frowns, glancing up at the sky again.

"Clark."

Pause.

"It's wrong to want to hug someone and sock them in the arm at the same time, right?"

[hero_farmboy]

Now that is a soft laugh from his direction.

"No. Actually, I think that's pretty human."