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There is a particular tree near the edge of the forest that Eirene has adopted in the few weeks since her transformation. It has low enough branches that she can reach and climb easily, and the foliage is close enough together to form a protective barrier when she wants to just watch life go by.

Her door has not returned yet but she had a wonderful few days in Smallville, so it seems to be a matter of balancing the good with the bad. This evening, she can be found in her tree watching the sun set and trying not to wish like hell that she had someone to hold her.

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Her head bobs in assent, as Eirene doesn't quite trust her voice yet. Lana, the woman he's in love with. After a few slow breathes, and steadier nerves, she meets Clark's gaze again.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't care about the people you love." There may be a voice cracking on that last word, but she ignores it.

"And Chloe is your best friend. I know."

"I try to. I try to do right by them as much as I can." Which is the main reason he's here to start with; Eirene is one of those people he cares about.

"But yeah, there's Lana and with Chloe--" he stops again, for yet another frown, "I don't know if you get how close we really are."

There is a hint of a smile, though its mostly just a quirk of her lips. Trying to explain the reasons she only made real friends at Milliways would take the better part of a month, and that's the condensed version.

You can't really explain to someone that even when surrounded by family, most of whom you get along with, you are still always alone.

"No, I don't. Only that you two are. Close, I mean."

Oddly, that's something that Clark would completely understand.

"We are. It's kind of hard to explain." Especially since he doesn't really understand it himself. "She knows me better than anyone else, even better than I know myself. She's the person I go to first when I need help. She knows everything about me." Pause. "She's part of who I am."

Another flare of pain hits, causing her eyes to squeeze shut and her head to bow for several minutes. "That sounds an awful lot like a soul mate," Eirene finally comments, her tone as neutral as she can make it. There is an ache in her gut, one she can't just make go away.

Eventually: "I'm sorry. It's good to have someone who knows you that well. Please, continue."

Clark's just going to mull that over for a minute.

"I guess maybe it does," he starts, slowly, "but I don't think it's quite the same." Because if it was, he'd want to be with just Chloe, wouldn't he?

Edited 2008-04-18 16:11 (UTC)

"Then something similar." Pause, fingers idly playing with strands of hair in order to keep them occupied. "That is, of course, just an opinion, but do understand that you are telling me that ... Lana and Chloe are extremely important to you, and that will never change."

And isn't that the unintentional understatement of the century.

"Right." And with that, Clark isn't really sure where to go from here.

After a few moments of silence, "That doesn't mean I don't have room to care about other people."

"Then you have a big heart, Clark." Eirene sighs, glancing up at the darkened sky through the tree branches and mentally catalouging all the constellations she can see.

"This is like trying to find your way through Ariadne's labyrinth without a ball of twine to lead the way." Or mad godly skillz at navigation.

He snorts softly, although it's wry amusement more than anything else.

"Yeah, it's confusing to say the least. And keeps getting more so."

Blue eyes shift towards him warily now. "I can't even begin to fathom the things you haven't told me."

Pause.

"I feel like I'm that animated coyote waiting for the anvil to drop."

"That's it, really." Though by the look on his face, that's not entirely true.

"Although if I'm being completely honest, there probably is something else I should tell you."

Another low breath to steel herself. He can more than likely tell she's bracing again, expecting the worst, because this blonde isn't an expert at concealing her feelings.

It's a wonder he didn't figure out she loved him on his own, really.

"Okay. Ready."

Clark, as everyone knows, can be incredibly oblivious when he wants to be.

"Okay." Deep breath. "I--" Another one. "Chloe and I kind of ... slept together."

It hurts. Seriously, physically hurts like a prize fighter punched her right in the chest, to the point where her shoulders actually jerk back.

Finding her breath after that takes a long time, and even once she does, the only word to come out of her mouth is an, "Oh."

It really makes him want to reach out to her, pull her into a hug for comfort or whatever, but he can't. That would just be the completely wrong thing to do here.

"I'm sorry," he offers quietly.

She doesn't want to know. She really doesn't want to know. At all. Knowing isn't an option. Eirene is lying to herself. A deep breathe, and exhale.

"Can ... can I know when?"

This isn't her business, who Clark sleeps with. But she has to know anyway.

"Uh." Way to catch him off guard, Eirene.

"Yesterday. Last night. That's it."

Pause.

"And it's not going to happen again."

Her eyes squeeze shut again, trying to ward off a complete weeping fit, but only partially succeeds. There are tears sliding down her cheeks, the ones she can't prevent, and she falls silent again for some time.

Then, finally, in a low voice. "Thanks for telling me. You didn't have to."

A hand flinches, Clark again wanting to reach out for her, but not allowing himself to. "I wanted to. I want to be honest with you. If we're ever going to be even friends again, that's how I want us to be. Honest."

"Okay."

She's silent again for one of those long stretches, just waiting until her hiccups die down and she's not blurry-eyed.

"I should probably tell you about Leo, then."

He'll take it as a somewhat encouraging sign that she's not yelling at him or leaving, or asking him to leave.

"Leo?" He thinks he might have missed something here, though.

Eirene is still struggling to wrap her head around all this. The yelling will come later, when she's alone.

"Leo. You told me about Lana and how you love her. And... Chloe." That was a little hard to get out. "Should I not tell you about the other man I have loved?"

She's managing to look sad and confused at the same time.

Edited 2008-04-18 20:38 (UTC)

Oh. Clark isn't sure. His instinct is to say no, he doesn't really care to hear about how Eirene feels about any other man but to say that would be less than unfair is a ridiculous understatement, and he knows it.

"If you want to," he answers after a moment, trying to sound as encouraging as possible. Which isn't much.

"Not really, but an exchange of information is fair in human society." She pauses, glancing down again. "His name was Leo, he was a Russian writer, we met when he was in his twenties and I was his mistress for most of his life. Leo was a pacifist and wrote great books on the subject."

And now she'll just pluck at the grass.