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There is a particular tree near the edge of the forest that Eirene has adopted in the few weeks since her transformation. It has low enough branches that she can reach and climb easily, and the foliage is close enough together to form a protective barrier when she wants to just watch life go by.

Her door has not returned yet but she had a wonderful few days in Smallville, so it seems to be a matter of balancing the good with the bad. This evening, she can be found in her tree watching the sun set and trying not to wish like hell that she had someone to hold her.

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Another low breath to steel herself. He can more than likely tell she's bracing again, expecting the worst, because this blonde isn't an expert at concealing her feelings.

It's a wonder he didn't figure out she loved him on his own, really.

"Okay. Ready."

Clark, as everyone knows, can be incredibly oblivious when he wants to be.

"Okay." Deep breath. "I--" Another one. "Chloe and I kind of ... slept together."

It hurts. Seriously, physically hurts like a prize fighter punched her right in the chest, to the point where her shoulders actually jerk back.

Finding her breath after that takes a long time, and even once she does, the only word to come out of her mouth is an, "Oh."

It really makes him want to reach out to her, pull her into a hug for comfort or whatever, but he can't. That would just be the completely wrong thing to do here.

"I'm sorry," he offers quietly.

She doesn't want to know. She really doesn't want to know. At all. Knowing isn't an option. Eirene is lying to herself. A deep breathe, and exhale.

"Can ... can I know when?"

This isn't her business, who Clark sleeps with. But she has to know anyway.

"Uh." Way to catch him off guard, Eirene.

"Yesterday. Last night. That's it."

Pause.

"And it's not going to happen again."

Her eyes squeeze shut again, trying to ward off a complete weeping fit, but only partially succeeds. There are tears sliding down her cheeks, the ones she can't prevent, and she falls silent again for some time.

Then, finally, in a low voice. "Thanks for telling me. You didn't have to."

A hand flinches, Clark again wanting to reach out for her, but not allowing himself to. "I wanted to. I want to be honest with you. If we're ever going to be even friends again, that's how I want us to be. Honest."

"Okay."

She's silent again for one of those long stretches, just waiting until her hiccups die down and she's not blurry-eyed.

"I should probably tell you about Leo, then."

He'll take it as a somewhat encouraging sign that she's not yelling at him or leaving, or asking him to leave.

"Leo?" He thinks he might have missed something here, though.

Eirene is still struggling to wrap her head around all this. The yelling will come later, when she's alone.

"Leo. You told me about Lana and how you love her. And... Chloe." That was a little hard to get out. "Should I not tell you about the other man I have loved?"

She's managing to look sad and confused at the same time.

Edited 2008-04-18 20:38 (UTC)

Oh. Clark isn't sure. His instinct is to say no, he doesn't really care to hear about how Eirene feels about any other man but to say that would be less than unfair is a ridiculous understatement, and he knows it.

"If you want to," he answers after a moment, trying to sound as encouraging as possible. Which isn't much.

"Not really, but an exchange of information is fair in human society." She pauses, glancing down again. "His name was Leo, he was a Russian writer, we met when he was in his twenties and I was his mistress for most of his life. Leo was a pacifist and wrote great books on the subject."

And now she'll just pluck at the grass.

He nods slowly as she speaks, watching her carefully.

"I'm sorry." It seems like the thing to say. "Thank you for sharing that with me."

"You're welcome."

And now let the awkward silence commence while she retraces exactly what he told her earlier, now that the fog of 'instant reaction' has faded a little.

"I have ... no idea what I'm supposed to think or do."

Clark shifts his gaze back down to the grass again. "I'm sorry," he repeats, but it's for an entirely different reason this time. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Eirene should say yes. She should demand that he walk away and take her broken heart with him. Her mouth opens to do just that, but what comes out is:

"No."

Gods, she's pitiful.

"Okay." It might be clear from his tone that that wasn't the answer he was expecting.

"So, uh, do you want to talk about anything else?"

Eirene feels rather the same way about what she said too, so Clark shouldn't feel like he's the only confused one. She wipes the remaining tears away with her shirt hem. and concentrates on not looking at him for a few minutes.

"How's the farm doing?"

Okay, that was lame.

Small talk. Wonderful.

"It's good. Spring and all so there's a lot of work to do." Pause. "Which I guess you know and all, so." Yep. Back to staring at the grass.

Not for long. "What you just told me really hurt, Clark. I know we aren't together, and I've no right to feel this way."

Quietly, "But I do."

Yep, also staring at grass. Awkward rules.

There isn't anything he can think of to say to that. Other than that he's sorry, which he's already said. Instead, he starts to stand.

"I should let you be."

Out of habit, she rises as well, and leans against the tree for support whilst trying to sort out her skirts.

Softly: "The last thing I want to do is keep you here against your will, Clark."

"You're not I just figured you'd want some, I don't know." He shrugs. "Space."

"I've had enough space to last a lifetime." She steps away from the tree and starts feeling her way carefully in the dark in a half-hearted pace.

"Clark, what do friends talk about? I've only ever had any here, and I feel like I'm failing as a human. How-- how do you do it?"