(no subject)

[dovelike]

There is a particular tree near the edge of the forest that Eirene has adopted in the few weeks since her transformation. It has low enough branches that she can reach and climb easily, and the foliage is close enough together to form a protective barrier when she wants to just watch life go by.

Her door has not returned yet but she had a wonderful few days in Smallville, so it seems to be a matter of balancing the good with the bad. This evening, she can be found in her tree watching the sun set and trying not to wish like hell that she had someone to hold her.

Comments

[hero_farmboy]

"Yeah, I am."

That expanse of silence returns and keeps getting bigger, as Clark shoves his hands in his pockets and alternately stares up at the sky and at the ground.

After a few minutes, "We need to talk."

[eirenikos]

Eirene glance back up at him, very carefully lowering her hands to her sides once more. His face is so dear to her, moreso than she even remembered from the glimpse in Chloe's apartment, but the sombre cast of his features does little to settle her nerves.

"Then talk, Clark."

That doesn't quite come out as snappish as she'd've liked.

[hero_farmboy]

Well, now he has to say something, doesn't he? Truth is, he hasn't planned this, doesn't have a prepared speech to make. He doesn't even know where to begin.

"Um," it's a classic Clark Kent start, at least, "so about us." He glances up at her quickly. "Are you even interested in 'us' anymore?" Because if not, he'll just be keeping his mouth shut.

[eirenikos]

That ... takes a while to penetrate, giving Eirene the semblance of a statute, albeit one dressed in a hippy skirt and a tank top. She cocks her head to one side, staring at him in some measure of disbelief, before her gaze drops to the ground.

She really wants to ask him what he's on, having heard that phrase used repeatedly in bar recently. What Clark gets is, "Yes. Which makes me something of a worm, doesn't it. One of those people who can't stop loving someone no matter how terribly it hurts."

[hero_farmboy]

"No, it doesn't." And he's not just saying that because it's him she's in love with. "We don't choose who we love and there's nothing wrong with it when we find out we do." That's something he's learned in the last day, for what it's worth.

"I care about you, Eirene," he continues quietly. "More than I thought I did. More than I wanted to."

[eirenikos]

Her gaze lifts again after a few moments, expression altogether wary - something he won't be able to fault her for, not after their last few meetings. Her throat works futiley for a second or two, before she finally manages to get out something coherent.

"I'm ... sorry? Not sure what you want me to do about that." Which is, sadly, probably not what he wants to hear.

[hero_farmboy]

"Nothing. Never mind." Clark shakes his head a couple of times and then almost looks as if he's going to head back tot he main bar. "I just wanted you to know that."

[eirenikos]

The touch of her fingers against his might provide an adequate reason not to go. She's taken a step forward, the action not-quite automatic, but close. "Please..." She doesn't want to beg. It demeans her in a way that few who have not been born immortal can understand, but it seems that the rules keep turning themselves upside down with him.

"You're here, under your own volition. We will talk and--" Then drops his hand, as if only now realizing she clung. "I'm sorry."

[hero_farmboy]

The touch is unexpected and he stills at the feel of her fingers.

"I'm not worth it," he says suddenly, when she lets his hand go. "I have way more emotional baggage than you can dream of and I've already hurt you more than I ever wanted. Not that I wanted to hurt you at all but I couldn't ever promise you that things would be perfect or easy or--"

Clark pauses briefly, still staring down at the ground, lips twitching into a frown. "It would be a lot of work if we tried again."

[eirenikos]

"I have a vivid imagination, Clark. You might be surprised at some of the things I dream of." That would be her sadly lacking attempt at humor, at least until she gets the irregular beat of her heart under control.

Somehow, it's safer to sit under her tree at the base, instead of pacing around in the growing gloom and run the risk of tripping over something.

"No one has a perfect relationship -- with anyone." Long pause. "I -- was under the impression you wanted little to do with me. Has that changed?"

[hero_farmboy]

"I don't know," he answers with a sigh after watching her arrange herself underneath the tree. "I was under the impression I wasn't good enough for you, I still am for the most part. I just don't know that I'm willing to let that work against me anymore."

[eirenikos]

"I never said that." It's a point she feels she has to bring up, no matter how badly the conversation might go after this. She's also getting a small crick in her neck from looking up at him.

"Might as well sit down and ... well, talk," Eirene suggests, her tone mild. "And tell me what the bad news is."

[hero_farmboy]

"I never said you did," he retorts, taking a seat a few feet away from her. "It's me. It's what I think."

Then he pauses for a few minutes. "Even if we're going to just try and be friends again, I need you to understand some things about me."

[eirenikos]

Well, it's wrong. But she'll refrain from saying that out loud. Causing another fight isn't something she's got an endless supply of energy for now anyway.

"Okay. I'm listening." Eirene watches him closely, already bracing herself for whatever comes out of his mouth.

[hero_farmboy]

Clark picks at the grass around him nervously.

"It's just," he shrugs, "there are always going to be people in my life who mean a lot to me. Who've meant a lot to me for a long time, and they're not just going to go away." Well. Not anytime soon, anyway.

[eirenikos]

Lana. He has to be talking about Lana. It's all Eirene can do to keep the pain off her face, instinctively trying to put him at ease without the use of power.

"Go on," she glances down at the ground for a moment to steady herself again, before looking back towards him.

[hero_farmboy]

Eirene's not wrong.

"You know-- I've told you about Lana before." And he'll try not to revisit that conversation too much, although that's probably impossible at this point. "Even if she and I aren't together, she's always going to be important to me. I'm always going to care about her."

Pause.

"And there's Chloe, too."

[eirenikos]

Her head bobs in assent, as Eirene doesn't quite trust her voice yet. Lana, the woman he's in love with. After a few slow breathes, and steadier nerves, she meets Clark's gaze again.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't care about the people you love." There may be a voice cracking on that last word, but she ignores it.

"And Chloe is your best friend. I know."

[hero_farmboy]

"I try to. I try to do right by them as much as I can." Which is the main reason he's here to start with; Eirene is one of those people he cares about.

"But yeah, there's Lana and with Chloe--" he stops again, for yet another frown, "I don't know if you get how close we really are."

[eirenikos]

There is a hint of a smile, though its mostly just a quirk of her lips. Trying to explain the reasons she only made real friends at Milliways would take the better part of a month, and that's the condensed version.

You can't really explain to someone that even when surrounded by family, most of whom you get along with, you are still always alone.

"No, I don't. Only that you two are. Close, I mean."

[hero_farmboy]

Oddly, that's something that Clark would completely understand.

"We are. It's kind of hard to explain." Especially since he doesn't really understand it himself. "She knows me better than anyone else, even better than I know myself. She's the person I go to first when I need help. She knows everything about me." Pause. "She's part of who I am."

[eirenikos]

Another flare of pain hits, causing her eyes to squeeze shut and her head to bow for several minutes. "That sounds an awful lot like a soul mate," Eirene finally comments, her tone as neutral as she can make it. There is an ache in her gut, one she can't just make go away.

Eventually: "I'm sorry. It's good to have someone who knows you that well. Please, continue."

[hero_farmboy]

Clark's just going to mull that over for a minute.

"I guess maybe it does," he starts, slowly, "but I don't think it's quite the same." Because if it was, he'd want to be with just Chloe, wouldn't he?

[eirenikos]

"Then something similar." Pause, fingers idly playing with strands of hair in order to keep them occupied. "That is, of course, just an opinion, but do understand that you are telling me that ... Lana and Chloe are extremely important to you, and that will never change."

And isn't that the unintentional understatement of the century.

[hero_farmboy]

"Right." And with that, Clark isn't really sure where to go from here.

After a few moments of silence, "That doesn't mean I don't have room to care about other people."